


I Solemnly Swear I'm Up to No Good

by xxInksxx



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: An unusual friendship, Blackmail, Brief suggestion of bestiality, Drinking, Female Loki, Loki - Freeform, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki becomes a bird and shits on a soldier's helmet for fun, Loki being a little shit, Loki decides to have some fun, Loki living up to his nickname the trickster god, Loki temporarily becomes a woman, Magic, Marvel Universe, Mentions of pansexual tendancies, Mischief, Other, Trickster Loki, drives one of his father's guards up the wall with shenanigans, fem!Loki, making a deal with the devil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 03:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1882971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxInksxx/pseuds/xxInksxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is sitting through another one of his father and brother's domestic disputes, and notices a guard rolling his eyes and the eldest Odinson's shenanigans. Deciding to have a little fun, he blackmails the king's guard and finds any and all ways to entertain himself with her mental torture. Including sleeping with her brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Stone Faced Soldier

**Author's Note:**

> The idea came to me when I saw a "imagine if" on tumblr that said "Imagine if you were the person Loki looked at when he rolled his eyes every time someone said something stupid." And it took off from there. I've broken it up into short-ish chapters, but am still working on it. Let me know what you think!

Nami stood at attention behind a pillar that stood before the throne of Odin, the King’s sons returning from yet another mishap from the hot blooded Thor’s rampants, their friends in tow. Most of the time she tried to tune out the family squabbles because they made her want to smack Thor’s thick head with the flat of her spear. Not that she’d ever try such a feat. Today’s bickering, however, seemed to seep through her mental block, leaving her aching to tell Thor he was being even more bullheaded than usual, and that he should probably give the Allfather a rest for once. This was - what? - the 12th skirmish this year? Since the first signs of spring? And it had barely reached mid summer yet. The elderson was getting restless for something to entertain himself.

When he bickered back yet again - arguing excuses, changing the subject so blame would not befall him, and picking fights with the others - Nami rolled her eyes, wondering if that had been one of his more ridiculous statements in a long while. She glanced to her side, glad for the pillar at her back so that no one in the throne area could see her exasperated gesture, and her heart leapt into her throat when she caught Loki’s eye as he too rolled his eyes, exasperated.

Momentarily freezing at his gaze, the two of them had done a double take simultaneously, before Nami’s eyes jerked forward again, entering soldier mode. A smirk crept across Loki’s face as he noted her outward reaction. Inwardly, she was praying she hadn’t just lost her job and rank. It wasn’t just anyone who got to guard the king directly.

Hopefully, she thought. It won’t turn into anything serious.

Never had she been more wrong.

Materializing before her, Loki stood with his hands behind his back, smiling his mischievous smile at her. Taking every ounce of willpower not to climb the pillar behind her from the start her heart had given, Nami remained impossibly motionless, the only sign of her inner plight was the widening of her eyes. Slowly she glanced back toward the family meeting still going on, and there, making her racing heart sink into her stomach, was Loki. Still standing with the others. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and smirked before turning his attention back to the conversation. Nami’s eyes flickered back to the second Loki before her as he held up his finger to his lips, telling her to keep silent. 

Bloody bilge snipe this wasn’t going to end well, she thought as he leaned in.

“Just how well can you keep that stone face of yours, soldier?” he whispered into her ear. Despite the fact he was merely a projected astral image, he smelled faintly of dirt and sweat from the ordeal he and the others had just been through, but strongly of lavender and honeysuckle, tainted slightly by the metallic scent of magic. A fabricated scent to throw her off, perhaps? But she had been well versed in detecting spells. It was an elective course you took when studying combat. More soldiers should take it than did, in her opinion, to help them in battle. It would be very useful to quickly tell when an opponent was using it as a distraction. 

Was Odin’s youngest son really an opponent at the moment?

As he stepped back to see her reaction, her eyes flickered back to the real Loki, whom seemed to have forgotten her at the moment.

“Ah, ah,” he tutted. “Eyes on me. Just how smart are you? This won’t be any fun if you don’t have at least some form of intelligence.” Nami had to consider his question a moment. She wanted to respond - you didn’t get asked a direct question from a Prince of Asgard and not respond - but how? Verbal response was out. Soldiers got in trouble for interrupting a domestic dispute in the king’s chambers - especially over trivial things. Noises would attract attention. Too much movement would break the stony facade. 

Careful not to give too much away, she straightened slightly, giving him a cat like stare. If she’d had feline ears, would have been depicted as laying flat against her head. Disgruntled. Ready to pounce if necessary. Alert. Loki lifted his chin, contemplating her and grinned. The whole effort barely moved her facial features a fraction, but they had conveyed a great deal.

“Oh this will be very entertaining, indeed,” his smirk broadened into a toothy grin. Nami swallowed thickly, knowing by the prince’s mischievous grin that this would not end well for her in any manner. Loki’s chuckle sent an unsettling tremor down her spine. “So you find my brother to lack intelligence and common sense - enough so that you roll your eyes in exasperation?” He questioned, his voice quiet and silky. The widening of her eyes gave him his answer. So she was a soldier, a good one to be on his father’s personal guard, and obviously was as tired of Thor’s shenanigans as he was. Obviously she was concerned with her position and messing up - he didn’t blame her, many of the guards were uneasy in the presence of the royal family, his father was not known for his kindness - though Loki knew that it would take more than breaking face to have this guard taken from her position. She, however, obviously didn’t. A perfectionist then. This he would have fun with.

Inwardly, Nami could barely hear his murmurs over her own thudding heartbeat. It was as loud as thunder at the moment, and she wondered why everyone in the hall couldn’t hear it by now. Holy Odin on a stick this would be her end, and she could feel it. She was good at keeping a straight face. Better than most. They’d had contest who could keep the best composure with superiors yelling in your face, fellow soldier’s trying their best to make you screw up or laugh or flinch out of position. She’d won quite a few of those games too. But this was different. This was a member of the royal family. Deliberately giving her Ragnarok because it amused him greatly.

And she could do nothing in return. Except play his game.

Steeling her insides, she listened and waited. Subtly taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she calmed her twitchy nerves, and settled into her blank face and emotionless, soldier stare. Loki noted the subtle change and chuckled again.

“You’re not afraid of me, are you soldier?” Loki mused, half circling her like a predator summing up its prey. Nami stared ahead rather than follow him with her eyes. Suddenly Loki’s face was right beside hers and nearly turning her spine into jelly. “Because you should be,” he whispered harshly into her ear. She remained impossibly still and silent. She wasn’t sure if she wanted her superiors to see the torture she was currently going through or if she wanted them to miss it lest they yell at her in turn. “I’ve seen your facade break, and I’m going to break it again.” 

Nami’s insides ran cold. Why would he do this? What have I done to deserve all this? A reprimand sure. But why this torture? Why this game of power and fear? What had she done to get on the youngest Odinson’s bad side? Had his brother truly meant that much to him or was this a game for the sake of playing? Whatever it was, she planned to stick it out. To not lose at all costs. Was this a test perhaps? If it was, she planned to pass with flying colors. If she could go toe to toe with Loki the trickster and power mage in a game of wits, she would be recognized by her superiors as being more than just a disposable soldier. She could help plan defense and offense to protect Asgard eventually. 

If she didn’t pee herself first.

“You are a bit impressive, aren’t you? Keeping a straight face. I’m sure you’ve practiced it often then.” Loki smirked, amused. She was trying too hard and it was plain as day on her face. “What would your superior officers say, I wonder, if they were to learn of your refusal to respond to a prince of Asgard? You’re rather quiet, but I doubt you’d be praised for your silence.” 

Her eyes flickered to him again. They said If you are going to order me, do so. But I will not fall for your game.

Loki stood before her again, still ignoring personal space, and grinning with a mischievous glint that seemed ever change and grow as he moved and observed. “So what is your name soldier? What shall I call you?” he asked. Again Nami did not speak, wondering if the question was rhetorical or not. If he demanded she speak, she would. If he didn’t, she would remain silent.

Her eyes flickered down subconsciously for a moment. Odin’s beard. She was ignoring a direct question. Normally she’d get flack for this instantly before being forced to give the answer. Here, the mischievous prince merely smiled evilly. He was getting far too much entertainment from this. What was so entertaining about torturing a random soldier?

He snapped his fingers before her face, causing her to blink. Silently, she looked at him curiously. “Eyes on me,” he reminded her, then considered her a stretch. “You are a curious one. Torn between duty and perfection. Which shall win, I wonder?” He glanced at the group to her left, rounding up the dispute. “Perhaps perfection this round. But will that facade hold up when I find you when you least expect it?”

The cold feeling running through her veins, pooled in her stomach. What did he mean by that? With a final laugh and smile that could have rivaled the Cheshire cat’s the astral disappeared as the group moved away from the throne, dismissed. Nami’s eyes flickered to the retreating form of Loki. He turned to look at her, winking and gesturing for her to stay silent still. They exited the throne room, and she felt as if she were going to collapse with relief right then and there.

“Remember not to get too comfortable,” a voice over her right shoulder reminded her. Loki’s astral projection chuckled as it walked passed once more, disappearing almost instantly. Nami’s insides made incoherent noises and wild gestures - melting, freezing, knotting, twitching, and generally panicking; while her outward appearance remained stony and unmoving. Oh how she wanted to scream. It was good feeling when she realized her shift change was only half an hour away. 

A thousand questions flitted through her mind, a feeling of unease settling over her. What could he possibly have in store for her? She had a feeling she would rue this day for quite some time.


	2. What Do You Desire?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Loki is scoping out just how much fun he can have with one of the King's guards. What the guard doesn't realize is this is just the tip of the iceberg of the mental torture to come.

Despite the constant feeling of dread in her stomach, the last half hour of her shift finished without incident. She was released to go and do as she pleased, just like any other normal day. Back in the barracks, she sat down on her bed after a shower - in clean, comfortable clothes and wet hair pulled back out of her face - only to be interrupted.

“I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen where the guards sleep. This is… interesting.” Nami looked up to see Loki glancing around curiously. He reminded her of a small cat.

“M’lord, I am off duty. Perhaps there is another guard who can serve or assist you.” She offered, mentally exhausted from his shenanigans earlier. 

“And where is the fun in that?” He just laughed and shook his head. “You would turn down a prince of Asgard who requires your assistance?”

“A prince of Asgard does not require my assistance, he requires to use me as entertainment for some inexplicable and undefined reason,” she replied, keeping her face tight and blank. If he got a rise out of her there was no telling what he would do next.

“Oh Nami. Pretending that you don’t care.” Loki smirked with an amused laugh. “But you can speak! Lovely. Much more fun if you can be verbal. Tell me, how long were you a guard before they promoted you to Odin’s side?”

“Is there a reason I am being interrogated, m’lord?” Nami countered, avoiding the question. How did he know her name? She wanted to ask, but he probably had gotten the information from a superior officer. Which most likely meant she was going to get yelled at later for attracting the attention of a royal family member. What in Odin’s name had gotten into his son?

“I’ve come across some interesting information on you, Nami,” he mused, gliding gracefully around the room, picking up various objects and examining them before setting them back down. “You are known as one of the more stony faced soldiers in your division. I believe I’ve heard one rumor that no one’s even seen you laugh. Most think you have a stick up your-”

“M’lord,” Nami interjected. She was fighting the flush in her cheeks and hoped it could be played off as heat from the shower. She was also thankful he hadn’t shown up in the bathroom while she was taking a shower. For some reason, she didn’t put it past him to do something of the like. “If there is nothing more you need, I am to be heading home.” The instant she said it, she regretted it. A light flared in his eyes, and a smile stretched across his features. Why was he always smiling so much?

“Home? Oh? You have one of those? And here I thought all of you lived under our palace roof,” he considered this new piece of information then turned to her as she rose, gathering her things. “Who perhaps is waiting for you when you get there?” he asked. “Do you have a lucky spouse to beckon you home? What kind of man was able to break the stony exterior of the infamous Nami Threlkeld, protector of kings and kingdoms? Tell me has he ever actually seen you smile or does such a thing exist?” 

“I don’t see why this is relevant, m’lord,” Nami replied, irritation beginning to overcome her initial fear. Why did everyone always assume there had to be a man that could make her smile? Or that she just needed one to get her to unwind and loosen up? 

“Oh I seem to have struck a cord,” he grinned. So there was something that could get to her. Perhaps if he kept pecking away at the chinks in the armor, he could break it off. He moved toward her, the look in his eye making her take a step back until she found herself pressed against the wall. He placed his palms against the wall on either side of her, blocking her in with his arms. He paused, his face inches from hers. “Are you having difficulty in your love life? Can’t find a man that will tolerate your emotionless soldier routine? Or perhaps none of your partners have been good enough to please you.” He grinned, noting the look of initial surprise flickering to irritation. 

“Brita,” she answered at last, her tone cold. “Brita is waiting for me.”

“Oh~” his grin broadened. “So you’re into women~?” Suddenly a shimmer ran across his form, and no longer was a prince of Asgard standing in front of her, but a princess. “I can work with that.” Nami bristled as Loki pressed her rather voluptuous bosom against her own. She still had to look up to see Loki eye to eye. The child of Odin had no respect for personal space, it seemed.

“Brita is my dog, M’lord,” she replied flatly. “Ah,” she corrected, eyes flickering surreptitiously at the over exaggerated cleavage pressed against her. “M’lady.” Loki’s eyebrows shot up.

“You’re into bestiality?” she laughed, her voice like bells. “I never would have expected such from you.” Her pouty lips tugged into a sinister grin.

“I am into none of them,” Nami hissed, then remembered who she was speaking to. “M’lo-la...dy.” It was spoken as a bitter tasting insult rather than a respected title, but the potency had been lost on the momentary confusion of gender. She’d been saying M’lord constantly, and the sudden switch was tripping her up more than it should. This time, however, it was Loki’s turn to look surprised. Her form shimmered again, revealing the usual prince instead. He took a step back, releasing her from the confines of his arms.

“Everyone desires something,” he began skeptically.

“I desire nothing,” she replied, moving away from him to grab her satchel. She was glad to be released, her skin still crawling from the close encounter. It was true. She’d never desired pairing off with someone. Having friends was well enough. But intimacy and sexual desire made her shiver uncomfortably. Give her something to puzzle through or punch at over intimacy any day. She didn’t mind being affectionate toward friends in her personal life, but anything more she shied away from.

“You are a mystery,” Loki mused, looking thoughtful. “Polar opposite of myself, I’d say. Personally, I don’t discriminate. I’m into everything. I’d probably even find Brita pleasurable. When can I meet her?” Nami gave him an uncertain look, wondering if he was being serious. Please do not molest my dog, sir. I don’t want to have to punch the son of Odin in the face, the look said.

“M’lord, with all due respect, I wish to keep my work life and personal life separate.” Nami sighed. She was off work. Why couldn’t work leave her alone? She was sore from standing in one place most of the day and was ready for a good relaxing afternoon at home. Perhaps a drink with friends. Not this ridiculousness. 

“Are you denying a son of Odin a request to visit your personal quarters?” he challenged. 

Nami considered her answer a moment, straightening to look at him before she answered. “Yes.”

Loki laughed. “Oh I like you.” He had an earthy laugh, Nami noted.

“My home is not appropriate lodging for a prince of Asgard, and as such I would not have his grace sullied by staying in such a humble abode,” she explained. “Now if you will kindly excuse me, I am expected elsewhere.”  
Loki nodded in mock understanding, pretending to be impressed with her reasoning. “To be sure,” he agreed. “Wouldn’t want to keep your beloved Brita waiting.”

“Good day, M-...M’lord,” she caught herself and double checked out of the corner of her eye. Yes. Male. Okay. Okay? Odin’s beard she needed this time off. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore with her mind so scrambled. Why did royalty have that effect on people? Not so much royalty, she supposed. She felt like she could handle speaking to Thor. It was the other three that made her nervous. Perhaps people she felt were more intelligent than her. Or at least seemed that way. For Loki it was more like she couldn’t get a understanding of his personality and it worried her. She never knew what to expect from the younger Odinson. 

Grateful, however, that he was letting her go unscathed, she hurried out of the room before he could think of anything else to torture her with. Making her way home, she could feel the tension easing out of her muscles the further she got from the palace. Mother of Odin it was good to get away at last.


	3. A Deal with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Loki makes a blackmail deal with the king's guard. 6 weeks of torture for one favor or a lifetime in prison.

She could just feel the smile easing across her face the closer she got to home. Damn it was good to be home. The smells of food cooking in nearby homes made her stomach growl excitedly. Alva would be making her fresh rolls tonight along with pies and pastries. Bard would be cooking some of the more delicious meats he’d been preparing all week for the celebration. It was a rare occurrence for all the village warriors to be on leave at the same time. It was a proud moment and everyone was eager to celebrate. They had come together to raise worthy children in the service of Odin and they would celebrate as true Asgardians did - with feasting and drinking. Lots and lots of drinking.

Nami looked forward to seeing her brothers and drinking them under the table. Again. Though they claimed the few times she had done so was not under fair circumstances. She’d beat them again - this time with no excuses to cover their embarrassment - and enjoy the well earned victory. Here, she could let her hair down and be free. At work, they called her a stiff because she sealed that part of herself off. She wanted to be completely professional and remove all outside distractions. Focus on the task at hand. Keep the two worlds separate. Because of this, barely anyone at home knew her rank and duties at the palace. Just that she worked there. Those that did know were the other three warriors from her village who worked in various other places and at times passed through the palace, though her full list of duties were vague even to them.

This was how she liked it. She didn’t bring stress home, and she didn’t let personal matters distract her from her work. Getting closer to home, she pulled the tie out of her auburn hair, ruffling it and letting fall just past her shoulders. It was mostly dry now, and getting it’s gentle wave back. Most of the time she kept it in a tight knot on her head so it would fit inside her helmet and stay out of her way. She could literally let her hair down here.

Coming down the last hill to towards her house, she waved at the blacksmith hammering away in his grotto, and he called back a greeting, lifting his hammer. She suppressed a grimace remembering the earlier family argument with Thor and subsequent mental torture from his little brother. Thank Odin she wouldn’t have to deal with any of that now that she was off.

Stepping up to her neighbor’s house, she whistled, and round from the back came an excited bark. From around the back of the house came a joyful, black and white terrier wagging his small tail as fast as the appendage could move. Picking up the tiny beast and hugging it, she ruffled it’s fur as it licked her face.

“I missed you too Brita,” she chuckled, setting the small dog down. The door creaked to reveal an older woman grinning from ear to ear.

“Nami!” she greeted. “It is good to see you!”

“Good to see you Asta! Have the others arrived yet?” she asked. 

“Gunnar has already arrived, and Ida with him. They are in the tavern awaiting you and Gael,” the older woman replied.

“They’ve hit the tavern without me? Outrage,” Nami teased. “I shall have to teach them a lesson.”

“Who have you brought with you? A friend?” Asta asked kindly, looking over Nami’s shoulder. The younger girl paused at the question, frowning. She hadn’t brought anyone-

“Yes! Well, superior officer actually, but we’ll just keep that between us,” replied a smooth, velvety voice with a cheerful tone. Nami’s blood ran cold as she turned around, the look of utter horror frozen on her features. There, in normal peasant garb was the very nightmare she’d hoped to leave back at the palace. If she could have run screaming at that moment, she would have. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. It was Brita’s growling and barking at Nami’s feet that brought her back to reality. Loki winked at her.

“Brita, be silent! This is a guest. Well are you going to introduce your friend, Nami?” Asta demanded, grinning. No doubt she thought Nami had finally found someone she fancied, when it was quite the opposite.

“This... You...” she couldn’t form coherent sentences. Her brain was tearing itself between soldier mode and the lax reactions of home. 

“My name is Valdr, dearest lady,” Loki lied, taking the old woman’s hand and kissing it sweetly. “And I am pleased to meet your acquaintance. Forgive my subordinate, she’s never been the talkative one around the barracks.” Nami stared at him. Now that was cruel irony. Valdr meaning ruler. Some would look at it as a strong name. A good name for a commanding officer or village leader. It made her want to hit something.

“Nami?” Asta scoffed, disbelievingly. “We must be speaking of two people. When she is home, she never silent.”

“Really?” Loki laughed. “Then I shall enjoy this visit very much.”

“You will indeed, good sir, for tonight we celebrate the return of our four champions,” Asta declared proudly. “This village may be small, but we have produced some of the king’s best warriors!”

“Indeed!” he smiled. “Then I have come at a good time. I will join in a toast, and drink to your heroes.”

“We’ll look forward to it,” Asta agreed, beaming. When she bid them farewell and disappeared into the house, Nami turned on Loki, the sharp, disgruntled cat like glare back on her face. Loki beamed, wiggling his fingers at her in greeting. 

“With all due respect M’lord, what are you doing here?” she demanded.

“I find you to be a great source of entertainment, Nami Threlkeld, and seeing as my brother and his odious temper is getting increasingly laborious to deal with, I’ve decided to seek my fun elsewhere. And what better way to do that than with a soldier who lives a double life? What would happen if those two lives began to mix, I wonder? The prospect of such an idea with a perfectionist such as yourself thrown into the mix promises to be very entertaining indeed,” he answered honestly. His mischievous smile took on a sinister light in her eyes. Nami stared at him in utter horror, her perfect life being thrown into the deepest of seas, tied to an anchor and sinking to the murky depths below. 

“Why would you do this?” she demanded in a hoarse whisper. What had she possibly done to offend the youngest Odinson so that he would go to such great lengths to punish her rather than just throwing her in the dungeon with all the other wrong doers? Demote her? Kick her out of the guard - anything rather than this!

“Boredom mostly,” Loki shrugged. Boredom? He wanted to ruin her life because he was bored? How did the mind of a royal work anyhow?

“What can I do to stop this madness?” she pleaded.

“Madness?” Loki laughed. “I am not a cruel hearted man. You will keep your position in the palace,” he promised. “Or at least you will not be demoted. If...”

“If?” she repeated learily. There were conditions to this torture?

“If you do not speak of this to anyone. No one can know of my true identity here, and no one at the palace can know of our exchange when we are there,” he replied. “If you tell anyone of my interaction here, you will be arrested for kidnapping a prince of Asgard and holding him for ransom.”

“What good will come of this for me? All I hear is torture and threats!” she challenged, inwardly lamenting her predicament. 

“For you?” Loki asked, considering this. “You want a wager?” He grinned. “Alright, that’s fair enough. Like I said, I am not cruel. I will give you one thing that you desire. So what is it that you desire, oh stone faced soldier? If not the embrace of a lover, then what?” 

“I highly doubt you could give me what I want,” Nami huffed, trying to figure a way out of this. If she went along with this, she would have to set a timeline. If she agreed to go along with something without one, this charade could go on indefinitely. 

“Which would be?” Loki prompted.

“First I must ask you how long you intend to torture me like this,” she countered. “A time line. If I abide by the rules we agree on in the set amount of time, you grant me one request.”

“Hmm,” he mused. “I can agree to that. My time line will be... six months.”

“Six months!” she bristled. “You will be the death of me! A week!”

“A week!” Loki scoffed. “That is no time for any kind of fun. Five months.”

“Two weeks then,” she countered. She would not agree to something so outrageous.

“Four months,” Loki reasoned. What fun would it be otherwise?

“Three weeks.” Nami crossed her arms. She wasn’t going to agree to much more than that.

“Three months,” Loki bartered. “It is a good length of time. You don’t even go back on duty for two and a half weeks.”

“So you can torture me more at work? Certainly not,” she argued. “A month.”

“I can do no less than two,” he said, crossing his own arms and mimicking her stance.

Nami hesitated. “One and a half,” she bartered once more. She was pushing the limit, she knew, but she wasn’t willing to back down. Loki studied her for a moment, weighing the possibilities. She was stubborn. That was good. It would mean more fun. She was also not afraid to speak up when she felt it necessary. Also good. She was also willing to make deals. This game was getting more and more interesting.

“What is it that you desire, Nami Odinsguard? Money? Power? Fortune?” he asked, lifting his chin and taking a step closer. Nami’s eyes seemed to glaze over as her thoughts strayed. She had a chance to get any one thing she desired. It was too big an opportunity to waste.

“Let’s just say you will owe me a debt. A favor to be repaid at any time upon request. No matter how bizarre, no matter when I ask it. And you are not to force me into a situation to misuse this favor,” she replied. Loki mulled over her answer before reaching out his hand.

“We have a deal. I get to entertain myself for six weeks at your expense. You tell no one of our deal, I owe you one favor that I cannot force you to misuse. Should you break your end of the bargain, you are to be arrested for kidnapping a prince of Asgard,” he declared.

“And should you break your end of the deal?” Name challenged, not reaching out for his hand. Loki grinned. 

“Then you can tell my family of our arrangement,” Loki replied. “My mother and brother will most likely pay my debts, for they are honorable people. If my father is angry, he will not. So be warned to whom you speak.” She considered this a moment, then nodded. Nami shook his hand, feeling as if she were signing away her soul to the god of the underworld.

“Let the mischief begin,” Loki smiled.


	4. Sleeping with the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Loki gets laid.

Entering the tavern where her old comrades sat, telling stories of their victories and sharing mugs of ale, Nami led the way amidst the throng of people cheering and laughing and drinking. She was greeted heartily as she passed, and when she reached the inner circle milling around the other two warriors, she stood with her hands on her hips watching Gunnar belt out a story of how he wrested down a bilge snipe and rode it like a steed. A cheer rose up as the story finished, and Ida was the first to spot her.

“NAMI!” she cheered, raising her mug with a smile. “You have joined us at last! We started without you for you walk too slow. Just as slow as your brother apparently for he too has yet to arrive.”

“Gael has to lug his giant ego behind him, I am not surprised he is late,” Nami replied with less gusto than usual. The weight of the threat sitting heavy on her mind. She was still torn between soldier mode and how she normally acted. Ida noticed instantly, but before she could comment, a deep, hearty voice cut over the crowd behind them.

“Who is late? Surely not I, for the party does not begin until I arrive,” Gael called as he marched in, still in full armor. His own red hair fell just to his massive shoulders, his jaw strong and angular, his eyes green and shining. He had a strong nose that looked like it had been broken several times from various fights, but it fit his face well. Loki could see the family resemblance. The crowd cheered loudly as their final warrior arrived and joined the others at the fire place.

“I think you were right Nami, his ego has grown. Along with his muscles,” Ida laughed. “Still I think I could knock him down a few pegs like last time.”

“By all means,” Nami gestured. Gael grinned at his sister, pulling her into a one armed bear hug.

“Ah my sister, always quick witted and sharp tongued,” he bellowed jovially. Gael’s only volume setting was ten decibels above loud. Much like Thor’s. Which was probably why Nami always wanted to hit the elder Odinson. “It is good to see you again!”

“And you, brother,” she gave a strained smile as he set her back down. Her enthusiasm had flown right out the window, and this time Ida did speak up.

“And why are you so sour faced, Nami?” she demanded loudly. “Is this not a night for celebration?” She lifted her arms, soliciting a response from the crowd and they did not disappoint. Nami winced. When the noise died down, Loki stepped up behind her and Nami sighed.

“You could say some of my work followed me home,” she muttered. Taking a deep breath, knowing she couldn’t delay the inevitable, she turned, gesturing to Loki who smiled. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. “Everyone this is...” she paused, staring at him with a grimace for a good long moment before she could force herself to say the false name he’d given himself. “Valdr. He’s my superior officer.” She crossed her arms and glared off into the room at nothing in particular.

“Well don’t look so put out about it, Nami,” Loki grinned. “After all, you did invite me.” Nami’s head shot around to stare at him as if he’d grown a second head and started screaming obscenities. 

“By that look,” Ida laughed. “It wasn’t a serious offer. Nonetheless you shall be welcomed. We never get to hear about her life in the palace, so perhaps you can shed some light on it.”

Nami gave Ida the same look she’d thrown at Loki. This could not be happening.

“Then perhaps you can return me the same favor,” Loki smiled. “For she does not speak of such things of home either.”

“Perhaps we can make a trade for which Nami we get,” Gael teased. “For her tongue does not stop wagging here.”

“So I have heard,” Loki nodded. 

“Tell us! What are her duties in the palace. Is it true all the guards get to take long breaks throughout the day and have the maids feed them fruit as they lay on lavish cushions?” Gunnar teased.

“Of course not you oaf, we have duties much like any other guard or warrior,” Nami scoffed. She was in a foul mood and more snappish than usual.

“Oh yes, they stay quite busy. Nami spends her entire morning cleaning toilets for the royal family,” Loki replied.

“I do NOT!” she bristled indignantly. A ruckus laughter rang out about them.

“I only joke of course. She’s actually one of the king’s personal guards,” he replied. There was acute increase of interest from the crowd. 

“The king’s body guard!” Ida exclaimed. “Then you know Thor, yes?” 

Nami made a face. Talking about work here made it feel tainted. As if she were bragging. Between Thor and her brother, she had had enough of braggers to last her a lifetime. “I guard them, I do not associate with them,” she replied.

“But you have seen him,” Gunnar pressed. “And spoken to him?”

Nami hesitated, but Loki spoke for her. “Oh yes, she’s often having to deal directly with them with they ask her to do one thing or another.”

“Is he as mighty as they say?” Gunnar asked.

“Is he as handsome as they say?” Ida mused.

“Does he always carry Mjolnir with him? Is it as amazing as he?” Gael questioned.

“What of Odin? Does he strike fear into your heart the moment you set eyes upon him?”

“Are they as amazing in person as they are in the stories? Or greater?”

“What do they talk about? What pressing matters do the king and his sons speak of?”

“What of Thor? Is he as wise and gracious as the stories say?”

“Is it true he can take out a Frostgiant with one blow?”

“What about the time he was up against twenty foes at once and took them all out single-handedly?” 

The questions continued to pour forward and Nami stood there feeling a little lost, and slightly embarrassed that none of them asked about Loki. Who was standing amidst them. Without their knowledge.

“I cannot answer you all if you continue to bombard me!” Nami yelled over the crowd who had joined in with the questions. They all quieted, waiting for her response. Nami took a breath, steadying her mind. “The lives of the royal family shall be their own to fret and wonder over just as any of you would wish to have your own lives stay private from your neighbors. As for the feats of the individual I cannot say for I have not seen them myself. I am a guard that does the king’s bidding, not his friend and scribe. I do not speak of my place in the palace for I knew I would be dogged with incessant questions of which none of you have the right to ask of me to answer.”

“If you will not tell us of their lives, then tell us what you think of them,” Gunnar countered. “Surely you have formed an opinion of our royal family.”

“It is not my place to form opinions,” Nami said. What was she going to tell them? Thor was a blockhead, the king was a stubborn mule, and the youngest son was currently standing amongst them and blackmailing her? Hardly. Her words had consequences. If they got back to the palace, she could be removed. “It is my place to uphold my oath and do what it is my king and his family need of me.” Some called her a spoil sport and teased her. Telling her she needed to lighten up and enjoy herself more. Someone cleared their throat to her right.

“Well if anyone’s interested,” Loki spoke up, stepping forward. “I’m not opposed to talking about them freely.” All eyes fell on him a split second before the questions set in again. He told them everything. Of block-headed Thor’s current rampages. Of the Allfather’s reprimands. Of Loki’s intervention to bring peace between the two. The more he mentioned Loki, the more they asked questions of him and learned more about the lesser famous son. It seemed all they had known of him was that he was a trickster and liked to create mischief for those around him. And while he said it was true, he gave them a whole nother side to his personality. How he was overshadowed sometimes by his brother, who had a good heart and intentions, but was too hotheaded to see past his own faults. How his brother had studied for years on magic like the Allfather’s wife, and to learn how to be a good king and bring prosperity to the land should his father chose him of the two sons, for they were both born to lead. While Thor had merely smashed his way through everything he could get his hands on. And while his battle stories were great, he had a lot to learn before he was ready to be king. In a few days, though, his father would name his successor. And a two weeks from that day, he would hold a coronation to make it official.

The story had sounded a little one sided to Nami, for she knew Thor to be of at least some intelligence, but she had to agree on the blockheaded hot-bloodedness of the elder Odinson. If only he’d use the intelligence he had once in a while. They crowd asked questions for a good hour, listening to Loki recount tales of the brothers and the royal family until at last a thirst for celebration shook the crowd and the feast declared ready at last. They ate, they sang, they drank. And though at first she was not in the mood to celebrate, the more Nami drank, the more she loosened up.

A contest was called for after the feast - the usual between the four warriors and one or two of the villagers that happened every time they were together. Loki declined the offer to join in, but took great delight in watching Nami intoxicate herself. So this was the face of the soldier behind the armor. She laughed, she joked, completely forgetting Loki’s presence, and in the heat of the contest managed to out drink her brother and friends once more. This time she didn’t allow them excuses.

Her victory was short lived, however, when she found Gael and Loki flirting shamelessly off to one side of the fireplace. Trying not to scream violently and hurl a chair across the room at both of them, Nami waited until Loki excused himself to get another drink to pull her brother aside.

“What are you doing?” she hissed vehemently, using a lock of his hair to bring his face closer to hers. He was probably a good foot taller than her.

“What do you mean?” Gael asked, confused by her words. His brain was even slower when intoxicated. 

“Why are you flirting with him?” she demanded. The thought of her brother with the very man who was torturing her slowly made her want to rip her skin off. This was Loki they were talking about. Not some wayward vagabond he could have a one night stand with. Sure Gael had left a string of lovers behind him of the widest variety possible, but the actual son of Odin was not something she wanted appearing that list. 

“Because I wanted to,” he replied simply. “Is there a reason I should not?”

“Do you have any idea who that is?” she hissed, but of course he didn’t. None of them did. They saw him as Valdr - Nami’s superior officer. Sharer of news from the palace. Gateway to information on their idols and heroes. They had no idea he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “All I’m saying is you should do what I know you’re thinking of doing.”

“Sister just because you do not desire the touch of a man does not mean the rest of us wish to be so prudish,” Gael teased.

“No you meat head! You don’t understand,” she hissed. She had to get him out of this there was no way she could let him sleep with the son of Odin. “This isn’t just some superior officer you’re dealing with this is-”

“Talking about me?” Nami and Gael both turned to see Loki standing there with three mugs of ale in hand. His innocent stare bore into Nami and she remembered his words like an echo in her mind. Speak of this to anyone and you will be arrested for treason. 

Nami released her brother’s hair, allowing him to straighten up. Gael laughed, saying she was merely being the pestering sister she usually was, and gladly took another ale from Loki. The prince then offered her a mug of her own and she couldn’t make her hands work to take it. All she could do was stare in mute horror as she realized there was no changing the course of events that were already spiraling out of control. About the only thing she could find to be thankful for in this moment was that men could not get pregnant. At least her brother couldn’t. At this point she didn’t put anything past Loki, but seeing as he was trying to keep his cover, she supposed he wouldn’t allow such a thing to happen.

She hoped.

“I think I am done partying for the night,” she declared. “I am going to sleep now. Or beat myself senseless until I do. Whichever comes first.”

And with that, she made her way back home, praying they didn’t some how drunkenly find their way to her house in the middle of the night.


	5. Tea and Treason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week of celebration, Loki gets news that his brother will be Odin's heir to the throne, and Nami tries to cheer him up. Unfortunately, things take an unexpected turn when he takes her advice to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one I have prepared at the moment. I should have more in the next few days.

The feast, like most Asgardian celebrations, lasted for nearly a week. Loki found an increasing number of ways to get under Nami’s skin, and by the end of it, she found the only way she could tolerate it was to stay in a constant state of intoxication. This greatly amused the younger Odinson, and on most occasions he would spend the afternoon finding ways to trip her up, embarrass her, piss her off, or just generally humiliate her. The entire town loved their dynamic, taking it as some form of strange flirtation. Gael questioned her several times throughout the week if she really was interested in him. She had a sneaking suspicion he felt guilty for sleeping with the first man his sister may have shown interest in, when in reality it was quite the opposite. She was ready to slaughter the prince.

It wasn’t until the last day of celebration that Nami found herself enjoying the atmosphere despite warily keeping an eye out for Loki’s next form of attack. It wasn’t until nearly dusk that she realized she hadn’t seen him all day long, and by then she was more intoxicated than had become usual. Stumbling along the road, she found herself looking for the younger Odinson, wondering where he’d gotten off to and if he was planning something he wasn’t supposed to. She found him, a ways off from the party, sitting on her doorstep and gazing out into the harbor just aways down from the village.

“Please tell me you didn’t set my house on fire,” Nami slurred as she came closer.

Loki gave a half smile. Was it a smirk perhaps? “If I had done so, would I be sitting here ready to be caught?”

“With you this is a possible outcome,” Nami nodded. This made the world spin a bit, so she took a seat next to him. “Not that- I’m complaining,” she began, her words punctuated with an odd pause here and there as she tried to remember how to speak properly. “But you’ve been very non... non mis- ...you’ve left me be today.”

“I suppose I was just building up your suspense,” Loki replied, not sounding as if he were in the mood for conversing.

“Something’s off,” Nami continued, ignoring it. After all, hadn’t he ignored when she wished to be alone? One night he’d even thrown a chicken at her face to wake her up. Needless to say neither she nor the chicken got the better end of the deal. “You’re too quiet.”

“Perhaps I like the silence from time to time,” he muttered.

“Ob-Obviously because something is bothering you,” she countered. She poked him in the face and giggled. “Even you can be bothered by something. You just as anyone else.” Loki quietly glared at her as she continued to poke his cheek, until at last he sighed.

“Odin has named Thor his successor,” Loki replied softly. Nami seemed to sober slightly, ceasing her vengeful poking, and looking out at the bay with him.

“Oh,” she said quietly. She recalled some of the tales he’d spun of what he’d planned to do should he become king, and realized this wasn’t just some story he told for entertainment, but a dream of his. To be recognized by his father to be worthy. To make Asgard a better place for it’s people. To be considered an equal to Thor and have people ask about him rather than forgetting he existed to favor his brother. And now that dream would not come true. “You and I have more in common than I thought.”

“And what makes you say that?” he asked, doubtfully.

“Our brother’s are blockheaded, hot blooded, thick skulled idiots that would rather bash their way through... through everything... rather than think. They hate thinking when they feel smashing communicates quicker. More efficiently. They think fear is respect. My family felt Gael was the one who would bring them glory, but he is a foot soldier, and I guard the king. So there.”

“Why Nami if I didn’t know any better, I would say you are bragging,” Loki chuckled. She had such a proud, determined look on her face, it was hard not to laugh. 

“All I am saying is people think that the bigger your muscles are the more amazing you must be. But the minute you ask either of our brothers to do something delicately, they can’t even fathom how their way isn’t the best method for accomplishing something.” Her words were still slurred, but she was starting to think a little more clearly now, the alcohol’s effects ebbing just a hair. She noted how Loki had cheered up a bit, and thought she would take it a step further. Nudging him with her shoulder, she made a face. “You should embarrass him at his corner- croner- the celebration thing.” He looked over at her, but she had her sights set on something in the distance. “Something to make him fall on his face and take his ego down a few pegs. My brother needed that once. He needs it again, but it helped for a while. You should do the same.”

Loki thought for a moment, then his mischievous grin reappeared. “You know, I might do just that,” he declared. “You’ve given me an idea.”

“Good,” she nodded. Sometimes it was okay to build up someone’s ego and make them feel better about themselves. Sure Loki made her want to hit something, but she’d be lying if she didn’t also feel bad for him. She’d seen how his older brother could overshadow him with a much louder personality. She knew how that felt, but she’d fought for recognition. Which was why most people were surprised she could also be so quiet at times. It didn’t mean something was wrong, just meant there was no reason to be noticed.

“And you’re going to help me,” he added.

“I’m going to what?” Nami paused. Wait no, that’s not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to cheer him up - he wasn’t actually supposed to do anything - and she was supposed to go about her life and watch from the side lines. Not be thrust into the center of the mayhem. 

“You’re going to help me,” he repeated. “Tomorrow I’m going to show you a special place that I found. No one knows about it, and we can talk freely there.”

“Wait I did not agree to this,” she sputtered.

“Well you could agree to it, or add another two weeks to your sentence,” he countered. 

“You realize helping you sabotage your brother could very well strip me of my rank - or worse - and that- that breaks our original agreement,” she argued. It was so frustrating to try and have an intelligent argument when your words wouldn’t quit slurring. 

“You will not be stripped of your rank or worse,” Loki assured her. “If anything you’ll get a promotion.”

“This is not a good idea,” Nami argued.

“Well it was your idea to begin with, do you doubt yourself so easily?” Loki teased.

“I do not doubt my words, merely your intentions,” she sighed heavily. He chuckled.

“Trust me,” he mused. “What could possibly go wrong?” She gave him a look, but despite her misgivings, she was too drunk to argue any more. Muttering something incoherent, she made her way inside the house, crawling into bed. It was an early night for her, but she was more tired than she’d been since her first days of training to become a soldier. 

Morning came far too early, and with it a hangover the size of a frost giant. An unusual warmth at her back told her that Brita had crawled into the bed again, which she did whenever it stormed. If there had been a storm in the night, she had slept straight through it. Not surprising when she accounted for how much she’d drank. Stretching and groaning, she was greeted by Brita licking her face excitedly. Flinching away from the dog’s warm tongue, Nami gently pushed her away. 

“Brita no,” she mumbled. But as she wriggled away, she met a solid form still in the bed. She cracked her eye open to see Brita standing on her hind legs to reach her face. The dog wined, wanting attention, but that didn’t explain-

An arm draped over her waist and Nami suddenly found herself standing half way across the room clutching the spear she kept in the corner. Fear tended to blur how one got from one place to another when in panic mode. Back in the bed, she noted, turning to see just what - or who - had crawled into bed with her, lay a naked torso that belonged to her own personal nightmare. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?” she demanded, reminding herself very violently that she had a piercing headache that nearly buckled her knees. She put a hand to her head to steady herself and to make the ringing in her ears stop.

“It was the most comfortable place. You didn’t expect me to sleep on the table, did you?” he muttered, patting the bed beside him. “Come back to bed, it was warmer with you here. I don’t want to get up yet.” While it was true she didn't have furniture for guest, this didn't constitute him sleeping in her bed.

“Get out!” she hissed. “Go sleep with my brother! You’ve done it at least once already!”

“To be sure,” he agreed. “But I didn’t get much sleep in his bed either. He’s a rather energetic fellow.”

“Please. No more,” she begged, closing her eyes and holding out her hand. She didn’t need that mental image. Ever. Picturing your sibling being intimate with anyone was disturbing enough. But with the very person sent from hell to torment you? No. Odin’s bony ankles no. “I have a headache as it is, I don’t need to retch as well.”

“I can help with that,” he smiled, rolling over on his stomach to look at her. He propped himself up on one elbow, laying his cheek in hand. “If you like.”

“What you are proposing does not solve my dilemma,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. Why did sex seem like everyone's answer to everything?

“I have proposed nothing, only offered my assistance. You really should keep your mind out of the gutter, Nami Odinsguard,” he teased.

“Then what pray tell did you have in mind?” she mumbled sarcastically, putting her spear back where it had been. Loki sat up, and slid out of bed. Much to her relief, he had pants on. 

“Tea, my dear. An herbal mixture that is fantastic for such occasions. My mother has perfected it with how much my brother and his friends like to celebrate,” he answered.

A pot of tea, a bath, and a handful of shenanigans later, Loki convinced Nami to follow him to the docs where they borrowed a small flyer. Together they flew out across the water, taking a route that led them swiftly toward a set of cliffs that rested at the other end of the mighty bridge. The closer they got, the more Nami expected to slow, but when a tiny crevice seemed to open on the cliff side in their pathway, she knew immediately the prince had lost his mind. She yelled at him to slow down, grabbing on to anything that she could, and his response was laughter. She flung a stream of names and curses at him as they skid through the opening, passing into a place between worlds. When at last they had stopped, Loki glanced at Nami, curled around the mast of the boat, clinging for dear life.

"I thought you were a fearless soldier,” he teased.

“I’M OFF DUTY,” she barked back.

“Good because discussing this plan with the king’s personal body guard while they were on duty might require you to snitch, and we can’t have that,” he replied.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to hear something treasonous?” Nami muttered, getting to her feet. “You realize Hamdal can see all we do? You can’t do anything that would require him to speak to Odin first.”

“Hamdal cannot see us here,” Loki replied. 

“Hamdal sees all, there is nothing that escapes his eye across the nine realms,” she argued. Hamdal was one of her role models. She knew a lot about him. There was no enemy or threat that could escape his eye and he was a fierce warrior. She briefly wondered if he knew of the young prince’s meddlings in her home village.

“Oh really? Then would he let this pass? HAMDAL IS A GREAT FOOL AND ODIN A BIGGER FOOL FOR APPOINTING HIM OUR WATCHER FOR HE IS NEARSIGHTED AND SEES ONLY WHAT HE WISHES TO!” Loki called loudly as if trying to prove a point. Nami tried to shush him, placing her hand over his mouth and asking him if his head had been addled by one too many smacks from her brother. “Like I said," he mumbled behind her hand, taking it away. "This is a place between places where Hamdal’s all seeing eye cannot pierce. I go here when I wish to pass unseen for a while.”

“I would ask why you had use for such a thing, but I try not to ask stupid questions,” Nami muttered, rubbing her temples. She was well over the hangover thanks to his tea, but Loki had a way of making her head hurt.

“Another reason I brought you along,” Loki smiled. “We are going to use this pathway in our plan.”

“Your plan, I had no part in creating this,” she countered in case Hamdal really could see them.

“It was your idea to begin with, remember?” he grinned. “I’m going to travel to Jotunheim-”

“Are you crazy?” she interjected, caught off guard.

“I thought you said you didn’t ask stupid questions,” he countered.

“You’re going to start a war!” she argued.

“No no, just listen,” he reasoned. “I go to Jotunheim, I convince a few minor rebels to sneak into Asgard during the ceremony to steal an old relic. Stop shaking your head and listen. They are taken care of by the guards, Thor doesn’t get crowned, and is so distracted by his anger towards the frost giants, he demands to do something about it. But father, who wants to keep the peace, will deny him. They will fight over it, and father will either postpone the ceremony or declare Thor not ready to take the throne. Either way, Thor learns a lesson.” 

“And you get another chance to prove yourself the better brother,” she finished. “Is this the way you want to go about it though? To gain recognition by pulling strings that may get others hurt?”

“My father has defenses in place that will prevent things from getting out of hand,” he replied, ignoring her other comments.

“And how am I to be involved in this treason?” she sighed. It was obvious he wasn’t going to listen. But part of her understood where he was coming from. That need to wipe the look from loved one’s eyes - the look that said I love you, but I pity you as well. The look that friends and neighbors and strangers who knew of your brother’s feats, but had no inkling of what you were capable of and had accomplished. Who looked down on you for not finding proper and successful that everyone else did. She would not have been able to get as far as she had if Lady Sif hadn’t paved the way. After that, suddenly her actions made sense to everyone. After all, if a friend of Thor’s had done it... 

She scowled. It really was always Thor and Gael, wasn’t it? The two biggest muscle heads and their companions that wouldn’t have accomplished anything without their leader’s help. She surprised herself at the bitterness she felt, and wondered if this was the same as Loki’s. Sure she loved her brother, but knocking him down a few pegs and getting recognition was a very sweet feeling. Perhaps the prince wasn’t as insane as she had thought.

“Your part,” he replied at length. “Is where things get complicated. So listen closely.” As he spoke, she realized she really was going to help him, and not just because she was forced to. She wanted to. 

So this is what treason felt like: Bittersweet.


End file.
